Call them whatever you like: “the lights come on,” the “slap-the-forehead” moment, the “duh” moment when something suddenly becomes clear. Some may use the word “epiphany”, but those moments almost always represent a “turning point” in the life of the individual.
Suddenly, we “get it.”
What have been some of those moments in your life? When did you realize that if you touch a hot stove you get burned? That you have to look both ways before crossing a busy street? What helped you learn that you can trust some people… and not others?
Can you remember when you first realized that we are ALL subject to authority on some level? And one of my personal favorites: when did you first realize that you have NO real power to change another human being?
Sure, you can try to influence, cajole, manipulate, persuade them, even force them to do your bidding with the threat of consequences, but even if you’re able to physically restrain someone, how much power do you REALLY have to change another person’s mind, or how they feel? How much luck have you had demanding that someone else love you, respect you, care about you?
Probably not a lot! They have to choose to do that.
You are the only person you have any real control over. You are the only person who can dictate and change how you feel or behave. And you are the only person who can move you forward from Point A to Point B in your own life. It always comes down to being “your game.”
But remember this (and its an important one): if you’ve enjoyed any level of success in life, you have not done it totally alone. Others have impacted you.. and whether you realize it or not, you have impacted others.
As children we don’t get to choose who has power and influence over us: parents, extended family, teachers, coaches. As adults, to a larger extent, we do choose. We get to choose who we allow to influence us and to HELP us change to become who we were created to be. We’re still all subject to authority, but we do get to choose those we allow to influence us and help us grow.
You can hire a coach, a therapist, a consultant. You can find and cultivate a mentor, a confidant, or a friend, a “significant other”, or even a spouse, but the success of those relationships will always be based on it being a two-way street with two people willing to commit at some level.
So who have been (or are currently) the “significant others” in your life?